Day 29: Holy crap, we're headed home

"The Final Countdown" was playing on repeat in my head all day long. It's official: we are in the final two day home stretch.

Today turned out to be a preposterously nice day to run outside, so that's what I did. Before meeting up with some friends on their way out of the city after work today, I headed over to the east river to get in a quick run and enjoy the weather. My phone was about to die, so I left it plugged in at the office to charge, and head out on my run sans music, obviously my inner playlist of the aforementioned song was the exception.

Running without music is something I never do because it sucks, and so I've been trying to do more of it lately. One of the things I've gotten out of this whole paleo experience is that doing things the easy way, or at least, the easier way, lessens the inevitable reward of finishing. I like running with music, because as I've mentioned before, it keeps me on tempo and helps me with my motivation. But this whole month of paleo has triggered a desire in me to try to eliminate more of the external influences on my quest for fitness, and really, for being a happier, better version of myself. I want to be the one pushing myself. I want to be responsible for my success at the end of this, whenever that may be.

My legs were pretty tight from TRX last night, and from a short 3 mile run and some spinning this morning so I was going way slower than I normally do. But it felt good. It felt necessary. For some people (read: me, before this past month) a successful Friday night was measured in drinks. For me lately, it's measured in miles logged. I think I'm getting old....

Day 28: Taking hypersensitivity to a whole other level

As we all know, I cheated last night. I did it, immediately felt guilty, contemplated spitting it out, realized I was in a fancy restaurant, and that it was delicious, swallowed it like a big girl, digested it, blogged about my suckage, and should've moved on, right?

Wrong.

I dwelled in it. I stewed in it. And I'm pretty sure my mental anguish manifested itself physically, because even though the actual cheating was in reality confined to at maximum 5% of my overall calories consumed for the day, I felt puffy and bloated and all around gross this morning when I woke up.

So....what's a girl to do when she wakes up and feels like she's suffering from a major case of gout? She gets her fat ass up and she runs. And it might not have been the prettiest five miles, or the fastest, but it set me up for a solid re-baptism into the paleo program.

Day 28 was a pretty solid day of good, clean eating. Breakfast was a green juice and coffee with almond milk, a larabar as a snack, a spinach salad with beets, tomatoes, avocado and hardboiled eggs and a banana for lunch, an apple and some blueberries and strawberries for snack number 2 and grilled chicken breast, broccoli and sweet potatoes for dinner, following TRX.

I'm also pretty stoked because I was scared that once I opened the flood gates to sugar, like an addict, I'd hit the rock hard, fall off the grid only to resurface three days later as this guy, trying to break into a convenience store so I could mainline all their sugar packets. But cheating actually had the opposite effect. I felt gross and terrible and in a strange twist, that made me feel amazing and so much better at the end of Day 28.

So with two days left, we are back on track and thundercats are GOOOOOOO.

Day 27: Man down!

Well, ladies and gentlemen, it happened on day 27. This paleo train went off the rails.

I'm exaggerating a little bit because I'm wracked with a combination of sugar and guilt. I went to dinner tonight at one of our restaurants to try out the new menu and committed the following transgressions:

I had wine.

I tasted dessert.

And I am pretty positive there was both butter and vinegar in the dishes I ate.

But I will be back on track tomorrow, and am determined to finish strong. To motivate myself, I got obsessed with this new site: www.thugkitchen.com. Pretty hilarious and some good, distracting ideas, like this one:

Day 26: Not So Typical Tuesday

Tuesdays are normally the bain of my work week existence. Monday you know is going to suck, and you're prepared mentally for just how sucky it's going to be. But Tuesday, Tuesday is the weekday equivalent to a carbon monoxide leak. Energy levels are low, you have a mild headache that doesn't get better or worse throughout the entire day, you're generally confused about what exactly is going on, and if you're lucky, you just pass out and wake up to the clear morning air of middle of the week marker, Wednesday.

But, aside from putting my black wallet on top of a freshly painted white cabinet and losing a favorite piece of jewelry, this Tuesday proved to be slightly different than the normal weekday equivalent to one of my most searched WebMD diagnoses.

 As I mentioned in a previous post, I am signed up for my second GoRuck Challenge on April 6th.

For whatever reason, my excitement about the challenge didn't really kick in until this week as the clock starting ticking down below the two week mark.

I'm excited about this GoRuck for a bunch of reasons:

1) I was basically in an anxiety blackout throughout the entire first one we did. I vaguely remember turning to the only other person I knew going into the challenge when he asked me how I was doing and saying something to him about not speaking to or looking at me, and never doing anything this stupid ever again. But this time I'm older and slightly wiser to the ways of the world of GoRuck. I can expect that they will hold us to their motto of Embracing the Suck, and I know I'll experience 8-12 hours of Good Livin'.

2) I've been training with and without my ruck, which is a vast improvement over the last challenge. Prior to my last GoRuck, I was maxing out at 4 mile workouts and that was basically it. I didn't once put my ruck on, nor did I conceive of the physical torture that wearing a backpack with 25 extra pounds in it for that amount of time would wreak on my neck, back and shoulders. The day after the challenge, i was literally like a turtle on its back--I couldn't get up without someone else's help. I mean, nothing lightens you up faster than letting go of some of that weight known as your own dignity and asking someone to help you stand up, and also look left and right for you because you literally can't turn your own head.

3) It might be mental, but eating this cleanly has really accelerated the amount of time it takes my body to recover from soreness and tightness. Which helps out with that whole preserving my dignity thing mentioned above.

Tonight I went to Boot camp, ran a solid 6 miles on the treadmill and did some mental prep in the form of rucking with 25 lbs in my backpack for about 30 minutes. It in no way compares to the amount of mental and physical fortitude I'll need to get through the challenge in 11 days (holy crap!) but it was a pretty solid workout, for a Tuesday.

Oh, and did I forget to mention, scale read down 14.5 lbs today. That's .5lbs in the next 5 days to hit my goal:) Hollaaaa.

Day 25: Requisite reading = Our Bodies, Ourselves

If you're a dude I suggest you stop reading because shit's about to get REAL.

 

Real girly.

 

The last few days I've had some pretty epic mood swings. One moment I love sunshine and puppies and rainbows and butterflies, and literally two seconds later, I live in a world of darkness, the puppies are rabid, its pouring and the house is infested with bugs. It hasn't been fun, and I can guarantee these hulk outs haven't been pretty. It all started on Friday, and I wrote it off as the emotional roller coaster that is paleo dieting. But during my run on Saturday, my rage kicked into a whoooole nother level, which was great during the run (first sub 7 miler I've run, and then banged out four more ranging between 7:30 and 8:10) but terrible afterwards.

 

When I was in second grade, my teacher at the time passed away from an aneurism. I remember the day before it happened, she got so mad at our entire class for being bad--like anger levels I've never seen in a teacher before--and I remember reading that inexplicable mood swings were a warning sign signaling an aneurism. So of course, I spent my Saturday evening saying silent goodbyes to the people I loved.

 

Obviously, my freak out was totally out of line, because nothing happened. But the base layer of rage was still there. Was eating like a caveman actually turning me into a caveman? Was I a club and a loin cloth away from living in a cave and bludgeoning my next meal to death?

 

No, dummies, I wasn't. What I was experiencing was my first official "lady time" on the paleo diet. Where normally I'd feed the female devil raging inside me with chocolate and alcohol, this time I had nothing to calm the beast. Needless to say, it's been straight misery.

 

The only silver lining is that I was beating myself up about the scale not really going down but I'm thinking its due to the requisite bloating associated with all of those girl things that happen.

 

I apologize to everyone reading this post. If you know me, you know talking about things like body parts and girl times is almost as awkward as this.

 

Diet today consisted of some paleo bread and almond butter for breakfast, some green juice, three hard boiled eggs and a spinach salad for lunch, some dried fruit and nuts, a banana, and for dinner I'll be having chicken "stir fry".

 

Workout consisted of a run to work, and tonight will be an hour of spinning, and a circuit inspired by my friend Bob's new blog: http://becominginvincible.blogspot.com/, just minus all the power lifting and d swinging...:)

 

 

 

Day 23 & Day 24: The Weekend

This morning I woke up and decided I wanted to log some serious miles.

So I downed two cups of coffee, two slices of paleo bread with almond butter, and sat around for about an hour waiting for it to digest, googling motivation via ultramarathoner blogs.

My original plan had been to get up and hit the road for a 10 miler around 8ish, and have enough time to recover, have some breakfast and make it to Boot Camp at 10:30 but that quickly went out the window when my googling got way out of hand and I looked at the clock and saw it was 9:35am. SO, I scrapped boot camp and decided today I was just going to hit the roads.

I got a Garmin GPS watch a couple of months ago and haven't been so good about using it but today when I walked out I doubled back to grab it. And I'm glad I did. I used to be a pretty avid MapMyRun user, but I realized during a recent race that it had pretty questionable accuracy when at the mile 3 road mark it said I was at mile 3.57. Ever since then, I've used it, but more for the map to show my overall distance and for the clock.

So the Garmin today was awesome to have. I ended up logging around 12.65 miles, cut short by some lunchtime plans. It was a slower, more leisurely run--I did it at an average pace of 9:08--but it let me relax and let me think about a lot of things.

Namely, how ready I am for this overly strict portion of the paleo experience to be over. I miss vinegar. I miss butter. I really miss beer.

I think one of the best things about the last almost month has been how hard sticking to this program has been for me, and how much I've learned about myself in making sure I follow through. I don't doubt once my 30 days are officially up that I will slip more frequently, and that the fouls will be way more flagrant than the occasional tablespoon of regular milk in my coffee, but they're definitely going to be conscious decisions I'm making to cheat rather than my regular dietary choices. And I think that was the general point of all of this. Well, that and to drop some weight. Which, I have to be honest, is coming off way slower than it was when I started this whole thing. Official weigh in this morning had me down 13.8 lbs since day one.

Day 22: Epic Friday...

It's Friday night and thus far my evening has consisted of a 6 mile run, laundry, some serious juicing and downloading new running music.

I have 9 days left to this challenge, and I'm not going to lie, I'm kind of getting into and liking my shut in status. That, or I'm just trying to rationalize my loser-dom.

Diet was pretty on-point today, although at lunch I had one sip of wine, and the chicken I ordered definitely had some sauce that wasn't 100% paleo.

Breakfast was a Larabar (a company I should probably buy stock in at this point), green juice; lunch was said chicken; dinner was a green juice, some eggs and bacon and an apple with almond butter. I also bought paleo bread today (Julian's Bread) which I haven't tried yet, but am pretty stoked to get into.

Aaaaand, that's pretty much all I've got today. For both of our sakes I kept it short and sweet. Sorry....

Day 21: Forgive me Blogger, for I have sinned.

Few things motivate you to get your fat ass to the gym like starting your day up to your elbows in steak. Literally. My day started with a reporter taste testing four different cuts of 28-day dry aged meat.

This meal was promptly followed by a second meal at a different restaurant with a different reporter for lunch.

I know a lot of my posts lately are about the things I've been giving up to get through this diet, but today I have to be thankful for everything I have, like the ability to mainline, like, 200 bucks worth of prime, top quality steaks for breakfast; or the fact that a large majority of the meals I've been eating on the paleo train have come from some of the most talented chefs in the city.

I also have to give major props to my friends and family, who have adjusted our normal routines (mostly involving serious gluttony and alcohol consumption) and instead have gone to bootcamps, spinning classes and other various lengths to hang. And also for their pretty constant support and encouragement. Y'all are the best, thanks!

In other news, I blackout cheated today--I had regular milk in my coffee at lunch, which didn't even register until I had already poured it into my cup, hence the blackout. But the paleo gods definitely got their revenge for my blatant sinning--I almost immediately got a pretty bad stomach ache. It's weird how quickly your body adjusts and learns what it should and shouldn't be having. If that's not paleo karma, I don't know what is.

But I've recovered, the work day is over, and I'm heading to the gym to log at least an 8 miler and some body circuits. Giddy up.

Day 20: Let's keep this train moving....

Over the past few days a lot of people have been asking me questions about my paleo experience: what are some tips for people who want to try it (just do it), what's been the hardest part (no oatmeal), how do I handle cravings and cheating (don't do it), am I going to keep it going after my 30 day challenge is up (yes).

I make no claims to be an expert about this diet, nor to know more than a couple of minutes of intense googling can provide, but what I can tell you is that if it were easy, more people would be doing it.

Obviously finding a program with diet and exercise that works for you is a personal process. Whatever your goals--weight loss, getting healthy, training for a race--you have to do something that's going to get you to your end game, but also isn't going to completely crush your spirit in the process.

Napoleon Hill said it best:  The starting point of all achievement is desire--keep this constantly in mind. Weak desire brings weak results, just as a small fire makes a small amount of heat.

Whatever your motivation, work hard for it. Push hard for it. The only thing that's going to let you fail is yourself. And if you do actually go for it, the results speak for themselves.

Official weigh in on day 20: 11.6 lbs down.

Day 19: Push it, push it real good

I went to my last Bootcamp session tonight at Pure Power, and I have to admit I'm a little bummed my trial is over. The classes are intense in the way I personally want a workout to be intense--my heart rate is definitely elevated, my muscles are tired but not from super hard core heavy weights, its more length of circuits and the amount of different stuff you're doing. And its cool to do stuff like monkey bars and berlin walls, which I'd never be able to do in my normal gym, and which will most definitely be a part of a lot of the races I have coming up. It sucks its so expensive...if you're looking for a sick and fun workout and you're in NYC, I highly recommend the three day trial at Pure Power Boot Camp.

The woman who runs it is the definition of bad ass. After our class they were doing a CMC  informational workout, which was sick.

I also got in a solid 4 miler in 31 minutes and 22 seconds, which felt good. In this month's Runner's World there's a whole article about training for races and weight loss and diet, which was a motivating read this morning on the subway. It talked about training at almost race pace for shorter runs, which is something I need to start focusing on to up my speed overall.

Diet-wise, I was pretty on point: scrambled eggs and bacon for breakfast, a green juice and a banana for a snack, grilled chicken breast, brussels sprouts and spinach for lunch, and a lunabar pre-bootcamp. Today's day 19, which means I have 12 days until the end of March. I'd like to officially say I'm down 15 throughout this challenge, so from here on out my eyes are on that as the prize. And then, its all about maintenance.

Day 18: Breaking into the double digits

I spent my morning dealing with things way beyond my maturity level, which kind of set the whole morning off in a crappy direction. I should have gotten up early and ran, a plan I had mentally committed to the night before. But instead I chose to sleep in a little, which basically set off a chain reaction of shitty events. In my mind I could totally see two versions of my day: how it would've gone had I just done what I said I was gonna do, and how it actually went. Lesson learned: get up and run, LAZY.

I got to work and was in a dank mood for a bunch of reasons, although to be honest, that I broke down and didn't run was the most annoying one of all.

So tonight I was on a mission to not only get my run on but also to burn off some of my frustrations with some circuit training, which went a little bit like this:

5.5 mile run at an 8 minute pace

20 burpees x2
15 push ups x2
30 sit ups x2
1 minute plank x2
30 lunges x2
500-meter row

Getting in a workout definitely helped me find the positive side of my shit mood: being in a bad mood motivated me to finish my workout and distracted me from the task at hand. Running inside on a treadmill also takes the work out of having to focus on pacing, which was pretty nice. And for whatever reason, doing work at the gym makes everything--work and my actual life--feel much more manageable.

So other than a bunch of bullshit, one of the bonuses of today was a weighed myself this morning, and I've hit the double digits. Officially down 10.4 lbs. Word.

Day 16 & Day 17: The Weekend

I had every intention of reporting back today on some serious transgressions due to the festive nature of the weekend. But, low and behold, I abstained. There were a bunch of celebratory things going on yesterday, but in between the time I got to the gym after my run and the hour-long TRX class I took, the level of public drunkenness had hit a stupidity level I was in no way prepared for, nor interested in participating in. (The girl taking breaks from puking in a NYC street trash can, face fully submerged below the rim, to take bites of the pizza her equally drunk friend was holding at 12pm sealed my sober deal.)

So instead, I met up with some friends and we went shopping. There are few things that make a laborious diet feel better than trying on clothes in sizes smaller than you anticipated. What is that CoCo Chanel quote, "Nothing tastes as good as being skinny feels." I definitely disagree with that on an inherent, food-obsessed level, but it totally fit as the motto for the day yesterday.

Anyway, nothing major to report for this weekend. Logged around 11 miles; hit up TRX yesterday. Other than the overall effort I've been putting in to adding more strength training to my workouts, I've also noticed a change in how much time it takes for my body to get sore, and get over being sore since I started this paleo thing. Normally, I'd go to TRX Saturday morning at 10:30, and not feel sore until the next morning, which would last for the remainder of that day. But yesterday, I started feeling soreness around 3pm, which lasted through the morning, and has pretty much subsided already. Not sure what that means or how/if its related to this whole diet situation, but it's definitely a noticeable and welcome change.

Also, jumped on the scale this morning and am officially down 9.8 lbs. Hollaaaaaa.

Day 15: Insert Bon Jovi lyrics here

Not only is it the start to the weekend, but its also...drumroll.....officially halfway through Paleo month! Needless to say, I was full on this guy at bootcamp today.

The over/under take on this whole situation thus far goes a little something like this.

The Pros:

• I'm 8.5 lbs lighter than when I started this jam..whatWHAAAAT.
• I'm sleeping well and my energy levels have been consistently even, and dare I say, higher than normal. It's pretty crazy to think back on the manic episodes I'd have post kitchen crack ingestion.
• My workouts have evolved beyond JUST cardio. I'm starting to see some muscle definition in places I didnt even know had muscles.
• My skin looks clearer.
• I have a lot of free time because I've become a shut in, so productivity seems to be at an all-time high.
• I'm saving money because I'm not eating/drinking out. This one's also kind of a con though because I'm realizing just how much money I spend on gluttony and I disgust myself.
• I've learned a lot about healthy and mindful eating and how that impacts your body and your mental state.

The Cons:

• I still have the hunger. No matter how much I eat, I'm never completely satisfied.
• I have no/a seriously wounded social life.
• I'm learning the harsh reality that I can't really cook. Like...at all.
• I've been eating a lot of red meat and eggs. I had some left arm pain today, most likely caused by whatever I did in bootcamp that also left me with a massive bruise, and for a good 20 minutes was convinced I was having a heart attack. Don't look at my google history just let it be known, I wasn't.

All in all, I'm pretty proud of myself. I can count the number of cheats in the past two weeks on one four-fingered hand (I gu-ed, I ate half of a brownie, I had some regular milk in my coffee one morning because it was either I have regular milk or risk murdering someone from lack of caffeine, and I had half a glass of wine today at Wine Week, which, I've been told is a debatable cheat, because some people consider wine paleo). I'm not gonna lie, I'm pretty pumped and excited to see what happens weeks 3-4.

Day 14: Motivation

Today is National Pi Day, which fat America has turned into National Pie Day. Which means pie was literally in my face all day. My IFK (inner fat kid) was fiending HARD but to combat the overwhelming desire to face plant into some pie, I spent parts of my day (read: the hungry parts) reading about some pretty awesome and badass people.

Check some of them out below:

• Elisabeth Akinwale: Said to be one of the fittest women in teh world, Elisabeth Akinwale shares her thoughts on CrossFit, healthy living and being a mom in her blog: http://elisabethakinwale.com/2013/02/11/im-not-trying-to-be-that-diesel/. This was one of my favorite posts of hers discussing conventional stereotypes about beauty and strength. I had two favorite parts to this post. The first is when she says, "if you have conviction about what you are doing, you must hold onto that as your shield against the naysayers." My second favorite part was actually in the comments section when someone said,  "I'm attracted to impressiveness, in whatever form it may take."

• Amelia Boone: I'm not afraid to admit that I have a girl crush on Amelia Boone. She's a lawyer and one of the fiercest competitors in the adventure racing circuits, guy or girl. Also, she's freaking smoking. And her approach seems to be understated bad-assery, which is something I find really impressive. http://raceipsa.blogspot.com/ 

• Scott Jurek: I read "Eat and Run" and wished it hadn't ended. Scott Jurek is an ultra-marathoner that has not only competed in, but won almost every elite ultra out there. He's not only an ambassador for the sport of ultra running, he's also an educator and philanthropist. http://blog.scottjurek.com/ 

Day 13: Portion control

This morning was the first time since I've started this paleo journey that the scale hasn't gone down more than a half a pound. I'm not gonna lie, it sent me into a little bit of a panic. I realize at some point my body is going to adjust to this way of eating and eventually I'd stop losing weight as quickly as I had been, I just didn't expect it to happen so soon!

I then took a look at my food journal and how I've been eating this past week and I realized the majority of my calories consumed have come from dried fruit and nuts. I know there are a plethora of things I should and can be eating besides dried fruit and nuts, but thus far my paleo cooking has led to catastrophic results and, surprise, surprise, I'm starting to get bored with all of the stuff I can actually cook. So, my go to has been the dietary equivalent of like, 100 squirrels. 100 fat squirrels.

Moderation has never been something I've been good at. When I commit to things, I throw myself in and it's pretty all or nothing from the get go. I leave little room for compromise and little room for adjustment. I also, like everyone else, hate failing. I'd be lying if I didn't admit that this whole paleo situation is pretty far outside my comfort zone--I work in restaurants and they also happen to be the epicenter of the majority of my social interactions. So adopting this mindset has been something that's impacted pretty much every facet of my life.

Honestly, keeping this commitment to myself is slowly becoming less about the outcome, although don't get me wrong I have my eyes on the abdominal prize, and way more about the feasibility of adopting a completely new lifestyle. It sucks to pass up on the awesome steak dinners with co-workers. It blows not being able to grab dinner and drinks with my girlfriends. And I know I could probably go, and I could stick pretty well to the paleo game plan, but there would be compromises made in some way or another, and then I'm falling down a slippery slope. I committed to this at this strict a level for a month, I need to see it through.

There's a lot of stuff happening for me right now, on a personal level, with my relationships, and for the first time in a really long time it feels like a lot of the pieces for an adult version of myself are falling into place. I figure actually taking care of myself should be part of that too. So tomorrow, I'm going to cut back. I made my breakfast and lunch for tomorrow tonight, and I've adjusted my snacking options. I'm only allowing myself like 5 squirrels' worth. It's a little change, but it's still a change. And the paleo beat goes on....

Day 12: Feel the burn

A friend of mine mentioned she wanted to check out this boot camp class she had heard good things about, so today after work we dropped in on Pure Power Boot Camp. It's exactly as you think it'd be: a fair amount of PT work, some actual obstacle course training and some cardio. It was a solid workout, and between that and my five mile run this morning, I felt pretty amazing today.

Which brings me to the topic of today's post. I have a hardcore aversion to moving outside of my fitness comfort zone. I like my cardio wheel house--spinning, running, turbo kick-- and will occasionally venture out for TRX, body pump or Nike Training, but anything having to do with weights or PT is the first thing I cross of my list when I'm in a time crunch.

I like a measurable, easy to quantify calorie burn, which is why cardio appeals to me. I also do well with endurance, less so with intensity.  But someone commented on my blog that they questioned the readability of it because early on I talked about how I was not a lifter. And they're right. The whole point of doing this paleo program was to get healthier (and hotter) and its a reasonable assertion that my lack of lifting is holding me back from both, but most importantly from getting myself some of these.

So once I got over how butt hurt I was that someone called me out on the uselessness of my blog, I figured I should bro-up and start hitting the weights. So as a subset to this paleo challenge, we have Day 1: Get Huge.

Day 11: I'm in a glass cage of emotion

I've been on an emotional bender for the last 24 hours. There really is no explaining it, but I've pretty much hit absolutely every emotion on the spectrum. 

Those of you that know me know I've participated in my fair share of hypochondriacal moments. I enjoy a good self diagnosis on WebMD, I'll pretty much watch any show on TLC that deals with uncovering an un-recognized affliction, I was in an anxiety induced blackout during and for about a week after watching the movie Contagion, and its a given that I'm always packing tissues and Purel.  

So it should come as no surprise that I spent a fair amount of my time today googling the symptoms of sugar withdrawal to help explain my roller coaster of emotion. WebMD totally solidified my journey down the rabbit's hole with a 21-slide show that compared a sugar addiction to heroin, and we were off. 

While the neuro-psychology nerd in me read about the technical ins and outs of a sugar addiction, I'll save you that information. The overview was exactly as you'd expect it to be: sugar consumption causes a production of chemicals called opioids in the brain that active it's pleasure centers. This is the same chemical produced when drugs are ingested. Studies show that sugar, much like drugs, activates areas in the brain that reinforce behaviors. This means that -- similarly to a heroin addiction -- your body learns to want and need more of the substance that makes it feel good. To prove this point, scientists provided humans with a compound to block opioid receptors in the brain. Shortly after receiving these compounds, people were less interested in sugary or sweet foods.

While I'm kind of surprised I'm feeling sugar withdrawal symptoms 11 days into this and was totally fine for the first week, all of the information I looked at today only furthered my resolve to stick to the paleo game plan. Here's hoping for my sake and the safety of those around me that I hulk out way less tomorrow...

Day 9 & Day 10: The Weekend

I'm not going to lie, the motivation to keep this blog going and my paleo diet totally fell off the wagon this weekend.

I could come up with a million excuses about why I didn't post yesterday, or why I let myself have a bite of a brownie, but there really are no excuses. In the grand scheme of things, neither one is an offense that really has any effect on anything other than my sugar-starved, fragile psyche, but waking up this morning I was wracked with guilt. It's part of the reason this blog is incredibly difficult to get through right now, and also part of the reason I am FIENDING for non-paleo foods.

I spent my weekend towing the line and putting myself in compromising diet situations, kinda like this guy. While the bite of brownie and the not blogging were my most noteworthy offenses, I realized this weekend how hard it is to stick to a strict paleo regimen and maintain my normal, everyday social life. I could detail out each compromising situation I encountered this weekend, but that'd be boring. The life lesson learned is that my paleo-self is going through those awkward teen years--trying to find out who it is, and how to get by without totally succumbing to peer pressure.

If only Judy Blume had ventured into the world of Caveman dieting, that'd for sure be a book my paleo-teen self would love to read....

Day 8: Embrace the suck

Sometimes you need an external kick in the butt to get energized and excited about waking up at 6am to hit the gym and train. I know people who pin up pictures of celebrities with killer bodies on their bathroom mirrors, I know people who leave notes on their secret stash meant to deter and motivate. I know a sick handful who are the living, breathing embodiments of some serious branding. I am none of these people, and have devised my own system of motivation: I sign up for races.

I've never been one for New Year's resolutions but this year, at 28, I made a resolution to make resolutions, and stick to them. This year I decided that I would compete in 12 "races" over the course of 2013.

We're officially three months in, and I've only done one thus far. which was just a 6k in Brooklyn. I'm ok with my slow warm up because next month, it is about to get REAL.

Back in October, I participated in my first GORUCK Challenge (watch the video!). For those of you unfamiliar with GORUCK, it's a team challenge that takes place over the course of 12 hours, covering 18-20 miles. Participants are required to wear a backpack with bricks in it throughout the entire 12 hours, while you're going through a series of PT challenges and "missions" that usually involve carrying the heaviest thing your Cadre (the person who tells you what to do) finds along the way.  It's inevitable there will be buddy carrying, burpees, flutter kicks, and submerging fully in water. It's inevitable that there will be moments throughout the 12 hours where you want to quit, but don't, because you're part of a team and there are people counting on you. And its pretty inevitable that you'll want to sign up for another one almost as soon as you're done with the first.

In my case, I've been waiting to get through winter before I sign on for challenge #2 because getting in the east river in October was definitely cold enough for me. But my wait is over--I've officially signed up for the April 6th 1am GORUCK Challenge taking place in NYC.

My first attempt at GORUCK was daunting. I'd never trained with a backpack with any amount of weight in it before (I literally got my bricks the week before the race, then went on vacation, returning the Friday afternoon before our 1am Saturday morning meet up time); I'd not really done that much PT, and out of the group of participants I was EASILY 5 inches taller and 25 pounds heavier than the four other girls doing it. It was hard, and there were points throughout that I wanted to quit. But the people I was doing it with, most of whom were complete strangers at the start, taught me a lot about  focusing on the task at hand, shutting out your mind telling your body what it could and couldn't do, and embracing the suck. There were some amazing people on my team who not only demonstrated effortless leadership with their mental and physical strength but who also provided some seriously needed comedy throughout the 12 hours of voluntary tourture.

 

It was one of those experiences you had to be there for to really get. I encourage all of you to check out GORUCK and their mission.

 

So this morning, waking up at 6am to snow and freezing temperatures, it would have been really easy to roll over and go back to sleep for the extra two hours. But then I remembered there's a GORUCK class going down tonight, a GORUCK Heavy (that's 24+ hours of Good Livin'), and if those guys can embrace the suck in these conditions, I can get my lazy butt out of bed and hit it.

 

So I did. Because April 6 is only four weeks away, and I'm not a newbie anymore.

 

April's also got a Spartan race, and a half marathon. Giddy up.

 

 

DAy 7: AW YEAH

This morning I woke up with the Rocky theme song playing in my head. Why you ask? Well, because I made it through an entire week of eating like a caveman. If such a feat doesn't deserve a sound track, well then I don't know what does.

But today I spent most of my day trying to convince myself I wasn't hungry. I don't know what my problem was, I had a normal breakfast: avocado, green juice and a hard boiled egg chaser, some nuts and dried fruit as a snack, bronzino and bok choy for lunch, and a larabar and banana before I went to TRX. But food was LITERALLY the only thing I thought about the entire day.

I figure some days are just going to be like that. Yesterday was a pretty hard day at the gym, so I'm using that as my excuse for my obsessive hunger and cranky attitude today. It's that, or I have a tapeworm.

At the end of week one, I'm 5.5 pounds down from my original starting weight. I've gone to the gym consistently, and most days I went twice a day and did both cardio and weight or PT work. I'm feeling really positive about all of the results: my energy levels are pretty solidly high, my workouts haven't suffered, I've lost some puffiness. So what is up with my monster 'tude?

Hopefully tomorrow will be better. The fact that I can confidently cross off a week of strict, hard core paleo living almost ensures it.

Day 6: Life lessons

6 days on this paleo diet has taught me more than the last three years trying to cut calories and eat healthier. No lie, I'm learning some good lessons.

Last night I finally made it to the grocery store and did a massive shop for a variety of things I can make throughout the week for lunches and dinners, as well as stuff for snacks inbetween. I got home and made dinner (a fried egg, cauliflower puree with sauteed spinach, mushrooms, onions and sausage) and tried my first attempt at paleo-baking. The dinner situation was delicious, the bread situation, not so much.

I figured it's been five days since I've had real bread, a paleo knock off will be a welcome substitute and stand in, right? Wrong. Valuable lesson number one: when it comes to bread, pastries, etc I won't be satisfied unless its the "real" deal which is obviously off the table for now, so for the next 23 days, I shall remain breadless. I'm not saying all paleo bread and baked goods are bad, I'm just saying I'm bad at making them and enjoying them and will therefore be refraining from them all together. And, most surprising of all, I don't really miss grains that much. Except for this, this I want in my stomach and around me at all times.

The second lesson I learned is that my attempts at portion control were stupid. The whole smaller sized portion, more frequent meal situation I was originally attempting was basically reduced to non-stop eating throughout the day, but never to satiety. My constant eating was the human equivalent to chumming the waters--me and Dr. Brody were both just asking for trouble by awakening the beast. But a friend suggested that I up the amount of fat I'm eating to help feel fuller longer, so for the last couple days, breakfast has been a whole avocado, mashed up with some lemon juice, salt and pepper and a green juice. It's a calorie bomb, which I'd have regretted immediately back in the good ol' days of calorie counting.

And this brings me to my third lesson, which I guess is something I knew but didn't really understand until I saw it first hand. I know calorie counting goes against the cornerstones of the paleo program, but I've been doing it anyway, just to get a sense of how differently processed foods are handled by your body.

Back then (which, i know was only 6 days ago) I'd be consuming roughly 1,900-2,100 calories a day, and aiming to burn anywhere between 500-800. So on my best days, I'd be taking in like 1,300 calories a day. To maintain my current weight, I should be netting 1,835 calories a day. So for a week the 500 calorie deficit would lead to a weight loss of one pound (3,500 calories). Not bad.

But with this paleo diet, I'm consuming around 1,500-2,000 calories a day, still aiming to burn between 500-800, and I've lost 4.5 pounds in the last six days. It's proof positive of everything that's said here, and it makes it that much easier to not miss the bread and the pasta.

My next step in this process is to start scaling back on the amount of coffee I'm ingesting, but that's a topic for another day.

Day 5: First official weigh in...

I kind of jumped into this whole paleo thing pretty quickly. I mean, I understood the basic fundamentals--avoid anything processed, eat what the cavemen ate--and I understood the healthy logic behind it all, but I had no real interest in trying it until I heard about the almost immediate effects it can have on the way you look and feel.

I am on day five of my own personal paleo-palooza, and the scale says I've lost 4 pounds. 4 pounds! I feel like the only person who really understands how happy this makes me is this kid. Results like that make my commitment to paleo as real as the streets.

But the last 120+ hours of my life have become consumed with asking myself one confusing and frustrating question: is this paleo?? You know that scene in Mean Girls when Regina George is trying to understand the ridiculous all-carb diet Cady Haren suggests she try out? Thats basically me before putting anything in my mouth. I pity the fools who have spent any amount of time with me around food in the last few days--you are all saints.

There are a million different websites out there that tell you a million different things. I make no claims to know which ones are best, or which ones are right, but I can give you a couple of my favorite ones thus far.

• For information on the fundamentals of paleo dieting, this site gives you a dummy breakdown of the top 15 rules to follow. It also goes on to explain why 400 calories of non-paleo food has a completely different effect on your body than 400 calories of paleo food. 

• For recipes, I check out Punchfork. While not all of the recipes are strictly paleo, it helps to have a visual aid when deciding what you want to gorge on, caveman style. A friend also recently suggested this site, and every thing looks amazing. 

• For a solid paleo shopping list, check out Robb Wolf's plan of attack when at the grocery store. This one is also really helpful, and what I used on my first attempt.

• PaleoHacks is a great message board to ask those paleo questions that keep you up at night.

• For general motivation and fun, NerdFitness.com is pretty good. He also posts workouts, which is nice. They have an app too, which I shelled out the .99 cents for, but don't do it. It's got a lot of bugs in it and their database is pretty small for now. 

Obviously, this is just a sampling of the sites I've been obsessively reading and re-reading. Feel free to drop bombs and make it rain in the comments section below with more suggestions!

Day 4: Little Victories

Today's post is going to be brief. Mostly because I went out for lunch today and my inner fat kid (from here on out referred to as my IFK) is pouting, and she's the one in charge of the comedy.

Today was a minor (read: major) victory in my world of paleo-dieting. See, one of the best parts about my job is that I get to eat at some of the greatest restaurants in New York City. It's a luxury that pays off in innumerable ways when you're living in a shoebox with no kitchen space, on a serious budget, and not the greatest participant in the culinary arts. And being able to keep up with the industry big dogs when it comes to both the amount I can consume, and the frequency at which I consume it has been a badge of honor I've worn with fat kid pride. I'd 100% fit in at the table here, and would for sure give Alana a run for her money.

So let's get to paleo victory number one of the day: I went to lunch and I didnt, I repeat, DIDN'T chow down on the rainstorm of fried delicacies that landed on our table. I'm talking onion rings, curly fries, peppadew poppers and bacon and blue cheese hush puppies.

Instead, I ordered five hard boiled eggs and a green juice.

Just kidding. Eggs and I are on a brief hiatus from our love affair, but don't worry, absence only makes the heart grow fonder. No, lunch today consisted of a chopped steak (think fancy hamburger), sans cheese and bun, with avocado, lettuce, tomato and onion. In a previous life (like, less than a week ago) my IFK would have reigned supreme, and I would have tried one of each of the above listed forbidden fruits. But today, I am living in a paleo world, and I am a pa-paleo girl. So I stuck to my chopped steak, which, I must admit, was really delicious and totally satisfying.

Paleo-victory number two is one I will be battling to officially win for a while. You see, it's Girl Scout cookie season, e'rybody. And that diabetes-inducing fairy just rolled into town, no doubt taking a few souls with her. I 100% blame my IFK for the four UNOPENED boxes that are sitting on my desk right now, but in her defense, she ordered them like a month ago, and she had no idea I'd be totally phasing her out. But, much like Dennis Rodman advising El Presidente about how to deal with North Korea, my IFK needs to learn her place, so if you're in the market for some Thin Mints, Samoas or Tagalongs, just let me know.  They're all yours.

Oh, and just so I'm fulfilling my original goal here, today's workout consisted of a 20 minute run at a 7:15 pace, followed by some PT work: burpees, lunges, squats, pushups, sit ups, planks. And I'll be hitting spinning tonight.

Day 3: Cheaters never win..

I cheated. And I'm not gonna lie, I enjoyed it.

On morning number three of my 30 day challenge I woke up and had every intention of logging some big miles today. I haven't really been pushing myself this week, so in order to hit a 40 mile week total, I needed to hammer down 11. No problem, I've done more miles before, and I've done them pretty regularly. So, insert caffeine into blood stream in the form of coffee, put on my running shoes and I was out the door. People always ask me why I do a lot of my running in the gym, and the answer is simple. I'm an incredibly spastic runner. I keep my arms high and tight and my tempo is all over the place because it's usually based on the beat of whatever I'm listening to, which is a total grab bag of terrible top 40s, emo-rock, and dj mash ups. My running, much like my playlists, is never pretty. It's fair to say that on any given run, my style will mimic each and every one of these guys. This morning, I was a total belieber, which meant for most of his most recent gift to the world of ears, I was maintaining about an 8:20 pace, which would have been awesome had I not totally blown it three miles in.

I feel like each one of these posts so far has had a relatively up front confession, so why stop now? As child number three in a family of four, I learned at an early age if you wanted something (like the best seat in the car, the remote control for the tv, the #1 spot in my parents' hearts) you had to give all you had to get what you wanted, which meant you  either had to have more initial effort than someone else, or at least more resolve to not give up. Well, it's safe to say this attitude has carried over into preetttty much everything I do in my adult life, so when I found myself falling into stride with a fellow runner as we started cruising up the Queensboro bridge, I stepped on the gas.

I'd like to say my rise to the top was as meteoric as my musical muse's, but....it wasn't. I'd like to say I found wisdom in his words, and would never say never, but....I didn't. Instead I found myself
bonking--hard--400 meters into my sprint and I was left in what I can only assume must have been Carl Lewis' dust. Failure is a bitter pill to swallow but my girl Mary Poppins totally had it right: a spoonful of sugar does help the medicine go down. In my situation, the medicine was the bitch slap I receive c/o my man Carl Lewis on the bridge, and the spoonful of sugar was indeed a spoonful of sugar. That's right ladies and gentlemen, I gu-ed. I gu-ed, and it was good. And while I didn't catch up to the Flash on the bridge, nor did I finish my intended 11 miler, I made it through a solid six. 

I have to be honest, I didn't think I was going to report back to you all on my pretty hasty return to the arms of my granular white mistress, but the first step towards recovery is admitting you have a problem. So here I am. My name is Katie, and it's been 8 hours since my last refined carb. 

Day 2: FOMO vs.FOBO

Captain's log: day two is coming in hot and I am suffering from a major case of FOMO. I spent my evening last night in New Jersey at my parents' house dog sitting, and in between the time spent convincing myself that every noise was not in fact a burglar high on bath salts and hungry for my face, managed to keep the paleo train moving in the right direction. Dinner was a three egg omelet with red pepper, onion and spinach and a handful of nuts. At some point soon I do realize I'm going to have to expand my paleo horizons beyond eggs, but for now, if it ain't yolk, don't fix it. WORDPLAY. (...sorry.)

Anyway, I woke up this morning--face fully intacked--slugged two cups of coffee, took the notorious D-O-G for a walk, and headed out for a run. One of the best parts about going home to NJ is being able to run on trails and not on pavement. I've been running a lot lately in my inov-8s but I forgot to bring them home so today I went out in my old asics. I've been feeling some soreness in my lower legs so the combination of the extra cushioning from my kicks and the softer ground was the running equivalent to high fiving a million angels--amazing. Logged a solid 7-miler then got my egg on. There really is no cool way to convey how hungry I was post run, so I'll just get graphic: i crammed four hard boiled eggs into my mouth and slammed a cup of green tea. My man better watch out, cuz I'm coming for him.

So back to the FOMO. Today is St. Patrick's day in Hoboken and while I'm not Irish, in my early 20's, a fan of crowds of people or the color green, nor capable of starting my day drinking at 7am, one of my best friends lives there and planned a perfectly age appropriate celebratory brunch at her apartment to be followed by some totally acceptable drinks around town. The whole dog sitting situation didnt allow me to join in on the brunch but it's now 2pm, my parents have returned and released me from my responsibilities and I'm still not on my way to party-town. And herein lies my conundrum: what's worse? My FOMO (fear of missing out) or my FOBO (fear of being obese)? Alcohol, especially beer, isn't on the paleo spectrum, and having not even made it 48 hours into this thing, I don't think I could go there, especially now when the majority of the people celebrating have been raging face since the early morning hours, and not drink. I realize that makes me sound like an alchy--rest assured that's not the case. I just feel like walking into that situation this late in the game would be like this--awkward for everyone involved. So I bowed out, and will be having my St. Patrick's day fun by proxy via a hilarious stream of progressively drunken text messages.

Paleo:1, my social life: 0.

Day 1

You know whats gnarly? Hard boiled eggs and green juice for breakfast. I'm not gonna lie, the egg stink, and my attitude right now, are both pretty terrible.

I had some really good intentions about going grocery shopping last night, getting myself set up for this 30 day challenge, and preparing meals and a game plan to take the work out of the first few days of this.

I'd be lying if I didnt tell you that in actuality I spent the majority of my night last night eating tacos and drinking beer with a friend at a newly opened restaurant we both wanted to go check out. I'd also be lying if I didn't admit that I'm having a little anxiety about what I'm going to say about my new diet at the lunch I have today with a food writer to discuss the opening of our newest restaurant project. Who wants to hang with a restaurant publicist that's on a diet and won't even drink? Not me. And who wants to BE the restaurant publicist that's on a diet and won't even drink? DEFINITELY not me.

I guess the point of this blog is two-fold: 1) i'm doing a challenge at the gym which involves blogging my daily activity; and 2) putting my intentions out here in public makes me accountable. I've been toying with the idea of paleo for a while now but have always rationalized it away, saying I'm not a Crossfitter, I don't really lift. My daily workouts are without question always a run, and then if I have time, some PT work that I either make up as I go, or I read about in the Spartan WOD. This approach has gotten me pretty far--I've cut weight and actually gotten into and started enjoying the exercise. But I've plateaued.

It's time for a true confession MTV-style, dear readers: my primary motivation here is not about healthy living because I think I'm doing relatively ok on that front. I exercise regularly and eat relatively healthfully. The motivation for this 30 day challenge is straight up, unadulterated, 100% vanity. I want abs like this. I want a b-o-d that looks like this. And I don't want to feel like this anymore. You know that poignant and touching episode of Full House where DJ Tanner goes on a crazy exercise binge to get bikini ready--you know, this one--that's basically me. But the all or nothing dieting and the excessive cardio didnt work for Donna Joe, and they CLEARLY aren't working for me.

SO, on day 1 of this challenge, I am shrugging off that I didnt make it to the gym this morning in time for the 7am bootcamp. I am proud of my 31 minute 4 mile run (that's a sub-8 pace, y'all). I'm stoked about the 25 minute TRX circuit I got in (thanks Pete!). And I'm stoked that the air quality post-eggs, much like my attitude post-blog entry, have both improved.

So, on day one, I feel a lot like Jesse Spano (minus the caffeine pills). I'm both excited, scared, and ready to make a change.